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     My name's Landon Wigley, my friends call me Landon, but you can call me Landon for short. Once, I killed a man; brought him back to life, just to kill him again. I adopt sickly cats. Bennito Mussolini acknowledges me as "Il Duce". In early 1881 I wrote the first edition of the Websters English dictionary, twice. My parents enrolled me in high school, when i was 8. My teachers are inclined to learn from me. My friends cannot stand my apartment, as it smells of rich mahogany.

     In 1944I brought down the Nazi regime with a paperclip, thread, and a mop.  I'm a vegetarian cannibal. On Mondays, I run four marathons. On Tuesdays, I write symphony compositions. On Wednesdays, I teach less fortunate children to play soccer. The rest of the week is reserved for finishing my homework. People say Georges St. Pierre is the pound for pound greatest fighter on the planet; I broke his toe. Last March I sailed through the Suez canal, and casually made my way through Somalia.

     When I visited Germany, I received a speeding ticket on the Autobahn highway. When I was in Russia, I wore shorts and a t-shirt everyday. When I was Italy, I ate spaghetti. I'm the only father in Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Once, I was mistaken for Forrest Griffin, by his wife. Unlike every other man on the planet, I don't put pants on one leg at a time.

    Yes, I'm kind of a big deal, but I've been told I haven't lived life until I've gone to college.