Santa letter

Chris Pond
2394726498274 Lax Bro Ave.
Penticton, B.C.
V2A 5W1

December 15, 2011

Mr. Santy Claus
The North Pole...Ave?


Dear Santy:
I've been a really good boy this year, apart from dusting some kids on the ice. But let's get real they asked for it. If we're basing the good list upon looks...have you seen this flow? I've done some many generous things this year such as being the designated driver EVERY night. I have no speeding tickets, nor have i gotten in any sort of trouble with the ladies.

Now, what do I want for christmas? I was thinking about maybe some jeans, I seem to have misplaced ALL of mine. Or maybe a real moustache instead of having to use the one on my lacrosse stick to impress the ladies. I feel like these two things would greatly add to my rapidly growing success of being awesome.

Imagery

The man entered the room, and stared blankly into the mirror.  The picture being portrayed back to him showed a man who's seen many things, done many things. His eyes scarred with the things he's seen. His face covered in wrinkles that mimmicked those of the crumpled cigarette hanging in the middle of his loosely gripping fingers.

Info text

The article “Public display of disaffection,” in the Maclean’s magazine explores the idea of technology taking over civilization, resulting in the population to commit acts of “cell-fishness.” The writer expresses that “social media is increasing their role in shaping global events,” as clearly showed in the part of the article where it discuss’ a man receiving an honorary doctorate at a ceremony “took his seat,” and than “began typing into his iPhone.” The article also states that this technology is becoming an addiction to our society, conducting surveys where over 25% of people thought it wasn’t disrespectful to “conduct a real-time conversation while texting someone else.”

          I agree with the writer, to a certain degree, today’s society is becoming overly-addicted to technological devices which we know nothing about. Although most of the points are valid there are certain times were cell-phones are needed. It helps parents make sure that their children are safe, and likewise for siblings.

Synthesis essay

Landon Wigley

            In the poem “puce fairy book,” by Alice Major, and the passage “Forget Prince Charming” by June Callwood relationships are discussed from almost similar point’s of view. The poem discuss’ the expectations put on the female of the relationship, and in the passage the idea of there not being a perfect soul mate but rather perfect qualities that you must look for yourself in another person. In the passage the author speaks of giving advice to her granddaughters about finding a mate, and the qualities they must look for. I believe that the poet would agree with this advice.

            In Alice Major’s “puce fairy book,” Alice believes that in relation ships there are too many unrealistic expectations placed upon the female. She talks about this boyfriend in the poem that “wanted Rapunzel waiting in a tower.” This boyfriend’s expectations for his mate seems so unrealistic to the reader, almost to the point of not being able to believe it. Although it seems unbelievable some relationships do carry the burden of these expectations. The speaker discuss’ that although “[he] might have been the one true prince,” she couldn’t deal with these expectations, indicating that there is no perfect mate in this world.

            “Forget Prince Charming” by June Callwood, introduces a new idea to the idea of there being no perfect soul mate. The idea of not a perfect “someone” but rather somebody that you can find perfect qualities in. The author describes times that she has given her granddaughters advice on finding a mate, telling them qualities to look for in this person. The first quality she advises to look for is integrity….. ran out of time

            The poet Alice Major would agree with the advice that the author June Callwood gives to her granddaughters. In both passages relationships are discussed with almost the same ideas. Alice would agree because she concurs with the author’s idea that there is no perfect mate. Although Alice never says this directly in her poem it is evident that she would believe there is a mate for everybody in this world. They both consent to the fact that nobody is perfect, and nobody should be compared to perfect god-like figures.

roflcopteerrrrrrrrr

     My name's Landon Wigley, my friends call me Landon, but you can call me Landon for short. Once, I killed a man; brought him back to life, just to kill him again. I adopt sickly cats. Bennito Mussolini acknowledges me as "Il Duce". In early 1881 I wrote the first edition of the Websters English dictionary, twice. My parents enrolled me in high school, when i was 8. My teachers are inclined to learn from me. My friends cannot stand my apartment, as it smells of rich mahogany.

     In 1944I brought down the Nazi regime with a paperclip, thread, and a mop.  I'm a vegetarian cannibal. On Mondays, I run four marathons. On Tuesdays, I write symphony compositions. On Wednesdays, I teach less fortunate children to play soccer. The rest of the week is reserved for finishing my homework. People say Georges St. Pierre is the pound for pound greatest fighter on the planet; I broke his toe. Last March I sailed through the Suez canal, and casually made my way through Somalia.

     When I visited Germany, I received a speeding ticket on the Autobahn highway. When I was in Russia, I wore shorts and a t-shirt everyday. When I was Italy, I ate spaghetti. I'm the only father in Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Once, I was mistaken for Forrest Griffin, by his wife. Unlike every other man on the planet, I don't put pants on one leg at a time.

    Yes, I'm kind of a big deal, but I've been told I haven't lived life until I've gone to college.

DIALOGUE

     Gerald noticed his friend Jamal sitting alone so he asked him, "Hey is it okay if I come sit with you?"

     "Yeah sure I ain't going anywhere." he replied. Jamal knew that whether or not he said yes that Gerald was going to sit with him. He was that kind of guy that wouldn't take no for an answer. 

    "How is your day going Jamal?"

    "It WAS good until now..."

   "Oh, why is that?" Gerald responded dim whit-idly.

Jamal seemed a little annoyed with Gerald's unintelligent being. "You know, I don't understand how people can put up with you." He stated, his voice sounding more annoyed with every word.

   "What do you mean? Nobody puts me up nowhere." 

Jamal was furious now, "You should probably leave now." 

    

      

Cliche assignment

George was alone in the stable when Curley's wife appeared in the doorway. Their eyes locked, George was thinking to himself that she was as hot as Georgia asphalt.  But she came in as beautiful as the day is long, and George was all over the map. She walked from the door frame slowly over to where George stood, and said "hi George" George replied nervously "..uhhh... hi". They stood there staring blankly at each other for awhile, until Lennie came in the stable with as many chins as a chineese phone book. Lennie was as confused as a cow knee deep in spring thaw. Lennie was thinking why could George be around Curley's wife but he wasn't aloud to be. Georges face immediately switched from a nervous wreck to scared like a shaken baby, when Lennies face turned from confusion, to anger. Lennie ran at George and threw him around like a rag doll. Curley's wife high pitched scream was  louder than thunder. As Lennie beat George to a pulp it started raining cats and dogs outside. The rest of the workers ran to the stable like a heard of elephants as they heard Curley's wife's shriek. Slim entered the stable to see George's crippled body laying on the floor. He just caught a glimpse of Lennie running out of the stable with hands as big as buschel baskets .  All the workers chased after Lennie, pitchforks and guns in hand. They chased him across the ranch to the entrance where they shot him in the head and his blood spewed like a faucet. Slim than muttered " when the going gets tough, the tough go fishing ".